Bean's Handwriting

Just a quick post to say that I love - LOVE - the Handwriting without Tears materials!  Bean has really taken to it, and she is excited every morning to do her lessons!

And she is retaining what she learns!

And I just want to say that these Early Childhood teachers really tick me off - for both Bug and Bean they made excuses as to why the kids couldn't hold the pencil properly.  Always excuses.

What they needed to do was just tell the truth and say that they didn't have the time or didn't care enough to make the time to teach the kids proper technique.

Bean is holding her pencil, while not perfectly, quite well!  All it takes is consistency and a little motivation - and that's in only a week of my working with her!

Dear School Personnel, Community Members and Neighbors

The following was written by Marianne Russo and is reposted with permission. The original post can be found on her blog, The Life Unexpected.

To Whom it May Concern,

I am the parent of a special needs child. I was overwhelmed, confused, heart broken and struggling to unravel the complexities before me.

Please do not pass judgement of me without knowing why I did not attend the school PTA breakfasts or community picnics. Please take a few minutes to understand why I did not take you up on your offer to have lunch or grab a cup of coffee. Although we see each other in the supermarket or at school functions, I don’t think you really ever knew me, actually, I can guarantee that you did not know me because just as my child was different, so was I.

I was in survival mode to keep my family in tact and to give my child the best quality of life possible.

I was presented with parental decisions that have torn me apart and kept me up more nights than I can possibly remember.

I had spent most days of the week at therapy and doctors appointments and most nights up researching treatments and medication options.

I was forced into isolation at times due to the stigma and misconceptions that are epidemic in our society.

I became proficient at prioritizing my life and learning to let the little things go, to look at others with compassion instead of tabloid material and to turn a blind eye to the stares or ignorant comments.

I did the best I could.

I survived.

I am one of the lucky ones, my child has blossomed and has exceeded all our expectations.
I have now become strong, I have become confident and I have become a fierce advocate for parents of special needs children. The growth did not come without much pain and many tears but it came.

So I ask you, please

The next time you see a parent struggling with a raging child, a child terrified to go into school, a child making odd movements or sounds, a child that seems to be in a world of their own... Be kind. Give a smile of recognition for what that parent is going through. Ask if there is anything you can do to help, give them a pat on the hand or offer for them to go ahead of you on line.

The next time you have a birthday party for your child remember that their child has a hard time with a lot of sensory issues and social situations. Please send their child that invitation and know that more times than not they will not be able to attend but appreciate being included. Understand that in order for their child to go to the party they may need to stay for a little while and please make them feel welcome. When they let you know that their child cannot make the party consider inviting that child for a one on one playdate or an outing at the park.

The next time you are grading homework papers please understand that their child struggles, some with learning disabilities others with the exhaustion of their disorders or the obsession with perfectionism. The Perfectionism is not necessarily to have the answers right but to have it “feel” right for them. They have spent hours doing what most can do in ten minutes. A paper returned with red circles and comments only hurts a child’s self esteem and causes school anxiety. Please understand that when they see the school come up on their caller ID their hearts sink, remember to tell them about all the gains their children are making as well as their deficits. Take a minute before that call and know that they appreciate all you do and want a collaborative relationship in their child’s education.

The next time you are in the teachers lounge, please do not discuss their child. Please do not make negative comments about their parenting or their child’s behavior, it gets back to them and it gets back to other parents in their community.

The next time you pass the cafeteria and see their child sitting alone please consider inviting that child to eat lunch in your classroom and be your helper that period. Consider working with guidance counselor to set up a lunch buddy group in a different area.

The next time they are at the CSE meeting planning their chid’s IEP know that they are educated, informed and confident knowing special education law. Know that they have found the courage to stand up to conformity and will explore every option to give their child the differentiated educated that will show their gifts and not just their disabilities. Understand that educating a child with special needs is one of the most difficult tasks a parent can face, know that the last thing they want is an adversarial relationship. Please show them the same respect they show you.

The next time you are creating an educational plan please take into consideration that their child may have specific interests or obsessions. Foster those interests, instead of taking away that art class for a resource class consider adding an art class instead. Think outside the box, these parents do.

The next time you see that child in a wheelchair unable to speak or control their movements, don’t stare, don’t look away, say hello. Do not assume that because this child is nonverbal that they are not intelligent or do not understand the awkwardness that you feel. Take a moment out of your day to show kindness, support a parent enduring incredible pain and just give them a smile.

The next time your child comes home telling you how Johnny or Susie is so weird, take the time to teach about differences. Take the time to talk about compassion, acceptance and special needs. Please remember that your child learns from you. Be a role model, mirror respect and discourage gossip.

The next time you hear a comment about how out of style these kids are, educate about tactile sensitivities and the fact that these kids cannot tolerate many textures and fits. Imagine what it would feel like to have sandpaper in your stilettos or tight elastic holding on your tie.

The next time you see an out of control child do not assume it is bad parenting. Understand that many of these disorders have an organic basis, are biological and are real illnesses. When you hear the word mental illness, take out the “mental” and remember ”illness”.

Know that it is this generation that can stomp the stigma and create a world of acceptance.

The next time other parents are talking about “Those Kids” be our heroes, stand up for us.

The next time you see a special needs child know they are not just special in their needs but in their brilliance as well.

Take the time to meet our children. Take the time to know us.

*Written by Marianne Russo of The Life Unexpected

Back to School

Today went really well.  It was immediately obvious that Bug was happy to be back to his usual routine.  It's been really nice having a calm house.

In fact, Bug was so happy that he wrote "Happy First Day of 2nd Grade" across almost everything he did.

Bean enjoyed her first kindergarten handwriting lesson and had a lot of fun doing it.  I'm combining her Handwriting without Tears with another book that I have so she's getting a little more than just handwriting right now.  I think she mostly loved just having her time with mommy though.

And I am super excited because this afternoon a friend called and offered me a bunch of goodies from her classroom - LOVE that!!!  Can't wait to see what she's got for me!

Well, That was Fun...

I generally only go two weeks for a break with Bug.  He tends to wig out if I let him go longer, but this summer he got interested in dinosaurs and I thought that maybe it would be enough to tide him over so that we could take a longer homeschool break.

I was wrong.

It has been three weeks now and Bug is agitated beyond belief, flipping out A LOT, and really just not his normal self.  Everything is bothering him and he is expressing himself very loudly and also very messily.

Needless to say, lessons resume on Monday.

Bean will also begin her Handwriting without Tears on Monday.

Summer Break is Here!

"No more pencils, no more books.  No more teachers' dirty looks!"

Early Childhood class is over for Bean.

Our first grade homeschool year has ended for Bug.

That's right, kiddies, school's out for summer!

Our breaks are short, so I'll be back soon... Oh the anticipation!!!

Dealing with Emotions

My daughter has a speech delay as well as a variety of other developmental delays in motor skills and her ability to cope with feelings and being able to express them properly.  She tends to get angry and upset easily and can be incredibly emotional in regards to just about everything.  Sometimes it is really hard for her to get out exactly how she is feeling and this has translated into her doing things like screaming nonstop for an hour and hitting her leg repeatedly out of frustration.  It is the prevailing belief of everyone in daily contact with her that the majority of her screaming and hitting is brought on simply by her lack of being able to properly get out what she needs to say.  For example, she wants us to know she is frustrated but she can't say it or show it properly.  Or, she wants us to know that she needs attention, perhaps is feeling lonely or left out, and she just can't verbalize it yet.

It is because of her lack of being able to just say what she needs to say that the following visual aid was made for her...

The idea is to put this up around the house.  Each little "emotion square" is hooked by velcro to a matching square underneath.  When Bean gets upset or even happy or whatever she is having a hard time getting out, she can then go to her emotions board and pull off the square for how she is feeling and show it to us.  Bean's teacher made this board for us and is seeing much success with similar items in the classroom.

We also have a board without the Velcro...

Same information, but this one can be used in creative games or just as a visual cue to help Bean along.

Bean does not have Autism like her brother, but this is the type of visual aid that can be used for kids on the Autism Spectrum as well.

Calming Down and Following Directions

Sometimes getting Bug to do what I want can be a battle.  He tends to get frustrated, especially if he feels we are just reviewing something and he isn't going to learn anything new.  Yes, he is just that dorky.  And no, I am not being mean - I say that (dorky) jokingly.

But in all seriousness, when he doesn't feel like things are moving on how he wants them to move he tends to get upset and agitated and can turn into a very angry kid who growls and yells and shakes and everything else.

Sometimes a visual aid is the best thing to help with that and thankfully there are people around me who are good at making these things and completely willing to make them for me...

This awesome little chart was actually made for me by Bean's teacher, and it is perfect in our school room and around our house.

Step one reminds Bug to stop freaking out and to just be still for a moment.  Step two reminds him to breathe in like smelling flowers and breathe out like blowing out a candle (this is a method we use ALL THE TIME to relax him).  Step three has him counting to five just to enable him to remain calm.

Step four has him saying "OK".  This is his verbal acknowledgement that he is ready to proceed.  And finally, step five has him listening to what he supposed to do and actually following the directions without flipping out.

I really like this chart and have already put it to good use.  Visual aids go a long way with Bug, as well as with many kids on the Autism Spectrum.

Bean's IEP Meeting

I loathe IEP meetings.

I seriously cannot think of anything more torturous to a parent.

I understand why some people pay others as advocates to do this crap for them.

I hate it.  I hate it.  I hate it.  I hate it!

That being said, I survived it, again.

Bean's goals have been updated to reflect that she will be in kindergarten next year and thus learning a whole new batch of stuff.

I like the goals that are set forth.  I think they are done quite well.  Her teacher is good at that kind of thing, thankfully.

As for speech... The speech teacher didn't even bother to show up.  Can you believe that?  I was in shock!  I sat there dumbfounded for a few moments before I said, "Well, then I guess I will just have to tell you my concerns then."  And with the principal sitting next to me I discussed how I have not received one single progress update regarding my daughter's speech therapy all flippin' year despite the fact that it is written into her IEP plain as day that I am to receive updates quarterly (and it is, we all checked).

Now I suppose I should have been more proactive and complained sooner, but the stupid side of me won over and I kept thinking it would come... Surely it would come!

But it never did.

The principal was none too happy.

So we further discussed speech and I was informed that in kindergarten the students get a different speech teacher.  I did not know that.  That makes me very happy.  You see, I know who the speech teacher is that Bean will be moving to.  I had thought she didn't work with the kids until first grade, but I was wrong.  I really like the speech teacher she will be moving to.  She evaluated Bug and did a smashing job at it.  I am very HAPPY with this development!

So, I signed my name a million times, I requested a few changes here and there, and I discussed the use of some visuals because I have seen areas where I think it will benefit Bean and that was all written in and the visuals are being made.

And now I am tired.

And I am annoyed but also hopeful... Annoyed at the lack of professionalism by the current speech teacher and hopeful for what I believe will be great with the new speech teacher.  I was ready to call speech quits, as I mentioned in an earlier post, but this new development had me zipping my mouth shut in that area - I think she will do GREAT with the other speech teacher.

As for what Bean will be doing in kindergarten... I am undecided as to whether I for certain will pull her and homeschool her or just keep her in regular kindergarten.  I thought I had made up my mind, but the last couple of weeks have had me rethinking.  I am proceeding with everything I need to do in order to have her still enrolled for kindergarten at the school and I am giving myself the summer to mull it all over (I will still be working with her throughout the summer as planned - especially with the Handwriting Without Tears stuff I got - it will be very good for her).  There is a specific teacher that should Bean be placed with I would no doubt keep her in regular school - she is a wonderful lady.  But at this point the only requests one can make are for morning or afternoon session (I requested afternoon).  Because of budget cuts and our district switching to a four-day school week there have been quite a few teachers dismissed and it is all up in the air as to who will have kindergarten (I talked with the principal about this).  It really sucks.  I'll stop writing now before I launch into the destruction of our country as brought to us by Barack Obama.

Second Grade Feelings

We only have a week left in our first grade year so today for his journal assignment, I decided to ask Bug to write some words that describe his feelings about becoming a second grader.  I told him to just tell me how he felt about it all.

His words:  mad, sad, not impressed

Wow!  I read that and was totally surprised.  So I asked him why he would feel that way and he told me, "Because second grade is not going to be the same and I like how it is in first grade."  So I said, "You're concerned that you won't be doing the same type of work?"  And he told me, "Yes, it will be different and I want to do the same stuff."

Well, let me first say that I am glad I didn't choose to change up his homeschooling plan and stuck with the same program.  Aspergers seems to demand that he be in control and that he know everything that is going to happen and just how it is going to happen.  It is like that with just about everything Bug does so it shouldn't really surprise me that school is no exception.

So I told him to come with me and I sat him down in front of the bookshelf that contains all of our school materials and one by one I pulled out the books and supplies for second grade.  I showed Bug exactly what we would be doing throughout the next school year.

His eyes lit up!  He smiled!  And he said, "Wow, Mommy!  It' just like first grade only there is better stuff!"

Yep, that's pretty accurate.  But then again, all of elementary school is like that - same stuff every year with just a bit of expansion.

So I said to Bug, "Now how do you feel about second grade?"  His reply, "I like it!"

I know this post may seem a bit silly to some reading it, but I felt it was something worth noting.  Bug doesn't like trying new things and even with it being homeschool and not public school, the thought of a new grade and new material got him a bit wigged out.  He has to know what is going on and he has to be prepared all the time.  I hadn't really sat down with him yet and showed him all the materials, until today.  And in not knowing what was coming Bug expressed his feelings as being mad and sad and not impressed (this was my favorite, by the way).  Once he saw that it was going to be done in the same manner he is used to and with the same type of materials he was good to go.  He just doesn't do change.

Parts of a Story - First Grade Style

We have been working on story writing and I found a nifty little printable that helps kids learn about the parts of a story in a very basic way...

Click HERE for the Parts of a Story printable.

While the printable focuses on two specific stories, this worksheet is easily modified to be for any story you choose.

Teaching kids that there is a beginning, middle, and end to a story may seem incredibly easy to many, but it is the foundation for writing and without a solid foundation you won't be able to build up a proper house.

Once the child understands that there is a beginning, middle, and end to a story, and once they understand what happens in each part, you can expand by discussing that every story has a main character.  You can brainstorm as to who this character is and what he will be doing in the story.  Creating a simple flow chart for what will happen throughout the story will help the child when writing.

Writing is a process and not every kid will understand the art of story writing at first.  It takes time... Greatness cannot be rushed. ;-)